


The Secret of the Empty Sea

by Kyriadamorte



Series: Written post-TLJ [21]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Rapunzel Fusion, Canon Universe, Child Neglect, Creepy Snoke (Star Wars), F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kylo is Rapunzel, Rapunzel Elements, Rey is the peasant hero, Snoke is his own trigger warning tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 08:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18567832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyriadamorte/pseuds/Kyriadamorte
Summary: Rey comes across a tower in the middle of the Jakku desert while on the hunt for new parts to sell.  She finds a very different treasure inside.ORThat Canonverse Rapunzel AU





	The Secret of the Empty Sea

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: While there is no CSA in this fic, the way Snoke and Kylo interact might remind you of CSA. I have drawn heavily from some of the creepier aspects of the canon (or near-canon - i.e. cut scenes) interactions that many survivors have said remind them of their abuse. Please keep that in mind before reading. If you would like clarification or want me to warn for more specific triggers, please feel free to let me know.

 

It's been ten days since Rey last ate.She's been longer without food, but by not much.Her hunger has come and gone in waves, clawing frantically at her insides, scraping her out and leaving her hollow.She wonders vaguely if it's starting to affect her judgement.

It's the only explanation, really, for the direction she's chosen this morning.The Empty Sea is fairly straightforward with regards to its name - the sea in question is sand, granted, but still. Every scavenger _knows_ going out there is a waste of time and energy; there's nothing out there, nothing.Not just nothing worth scavenging, literally a vasty, empty nothingness. Rey's heard the stories of brave souls venturing out only to never have been heard from again.

She doesn't know if there will be anyone to tell her story. She tries not to let the thought bother her.

_No time for that - focus._

It's not like she has many options, though; the _Kwerek-tai_ have laid claim to the two larger Star Destroyers and the Shooktar Gang have scattered themselves throughout the valley and inner wrecks. Earlier, she might have tried to fight them or sneak around their camps after dark, but it's been too long; she doesn't trust her strength or instincts right now and her ribs still smart from where that no-good thief had-

Her speeder shudders beneath her and Rey's heart drops before it hums back to full power. The last thing she needs is to lose transport at this point.She has committed; she cannot go back now.

She takes a breath, centers herself, listens to that pull at the back of her mind tell her she is going to where she needs to be.She's trusted it before; she needs to trust it now.

She has no other choice.

~

Rey doesn't find what she's looking for so much has runs straight into it.Literally.And a bit forcefully.

She's thrown from the speeder as it bounces backwards and spins out, sputtering slightly as it auto-powers down. She lets herself lie flat on her back for a minute, wallowing in sand and exhaustion and more than a little bit of despair.

When she finally convinces herself to sit up, she wonders if the hunger has affected her eyesight. There's nothing. No ship, no wreckage, no scraps - not so much as a rock. She blinks, shakes her head; has she started to hallucinate?

No.There's something… _there._ She looks at the space before her and against the endless wasteland she sees a flickering, waving…something. Like heat waves rising from the ground, but more structured - taller and somehow…rigid.

_Oh!_

She steps forward, tentatively, and lets her gaze trace up and down length of it.It's a _tower_! Tall and thin and in the middle of the Empty Sea, of all places, but, yes, a tower most definitely.As her mind accepts the truth, the cloaking seems to fall away.The illusion ripples and before her is a large, sleek, black tower - thrusting up in startling contrast against the rough beige of the Jakku desert.

It's unlike anything Rey has ever seen - new, cared for, intentional.This is no wreckage or graveyard, no corpse of a bygone era.Someone put this here and _recently_.Someone with more credits than Rey has ever seen in her whole life.

She wonders what sort of treasures lie inside.

Now, how to get in there? It's sleeker than a Naboo Royal Cruiser and there are barely any hand or footholds. And where's the entrance?She circles the base of the tower running her fingers along its walls, searching for some sort of… _there._ A door!But no handle…and the gap is so small; she can't even get a blade in there to pry it open.

"You can't get in that way."

The deep voice comes out of nowhere, startling Rey so much she jumps back in shock. And then, realizing its source, she looks up, up, up. Peering down at her out of a heretofore unnoticed window in slightly unsettlingly intense fascination is a man, pale and boyish around the edges, with long, dark, wavy hair.

"Who are you?" she asks and it sounds far more accusatory than she had intended. But she needs to scavenge things and Rey doesn't know if she can do that now that she knows someone lives here.

"Don't I get to ask that question first?" he asks. "After all, you did run into _my_ tower."

She toys with the idea of refusing him for a grand total of ten seconds.What does she have to lose at this point? She's nobody and her name means nothing. "Rey. My name is Rey."

The silence drags out and she realizes he's not going to answer in kind, at least not without some prompting. "Well? What about you? Who are you? What are you doing here? Who built this tow-"

"My name is Kylo, Kylo Ren. And I live here."

"Live here? How?" Her eyes dart around the bizarre structure before another thought occurs to her. "I've never seen you before.Where do you get your food? How does that work?"  
  
"You ask a lot of questions."

She crosses her arms over chest and stares up at him pointedly.

"My food is brought to me.I stay here, where it's safe."

That sounds amazing, and yet - "Wait, what - all the time?"

"Yes, of course," he replies, sounding a bit confused and more than a bit ruffled."My turn now - why are you here? No one is supposed to find this place."His brows furrow. "Are you here to hurt me?"

"What? No. I didn't even know you were here."

"Then why?" He asks, leaning over face set in mask of suspicious accusation.

"Because I need to eat!"

He cocks his head to the side, clearly not understanding.It would be hilarious and endearing if it weren't presently so frustrating.

"Not everyone gets their food brought to them, you know; some of us have to go out and work for it."

He considers that for a moment. "Someone's giving you food to find my tower?"

"Forget about your bloody tower! I didn't even know it was here until I nearly broke my neck on it! I was just looking for some parts to scavenge and this was one of the few places left because no one thinks there's anything out here."

He squints down at her in silence before asking, tentatively, "So…you came all the way out here…and you didn't even know if you'd find anything?"

His genuine confusion tinged with more than a little bit of concern has the corner of her mouth quirking up in a small smile. "I didn't say it was an amazing plan."

His gaze lingers on her smile for moment before he shyly returns it in kind. "What are you going to do now, then?"

Amusement slips from her face, leaving her blank and expressionless on the edge of despair. 

"I don't know," she whispers. "I have nowhere else to go. I could keep going, I suppose. Or perhaps I could go back t-"

"I have food," Kylo interrupts.

"What?" she asks, startled at the non-sequitur.

"I have food," he repeats. "Up here, that is. I don't know how to give it to you though….it's….it's soup."

He looks apologetic, but Rey can't understand why, can't understand what's going on at all, really. He has food.And he's just going to…give it to her.For free.

"I don't know how to get in," she says, stupidly. It's not what she means to say.

(She doesn't quite know what she means to say.)

He leans even further out the window, examining the walls below.Rey can only now see how wide his shoulders are - nearly large enough to fill the opening and dressed in a deeply impractical embroidered black.And his hair - longer still even than she'd first assumed, flowing down around him almost like a veil, fluttering across his face in the light wind.

"There are some exhaust panels there and there," he says, pointing. "And I'm not quite sure what that is, but I think you should be able to hold onto it. Is there enough below that?"

"You want me to climb through the window?" It's not the weirdest thing she's climbed through, but still. "Why can't you just open the door?"

Later, she'll feel bad about how rude she's being in the face of his unprecedented kindness - you just don't _act_ this way when people offer you food on Jakku - but she's so hungry and the tower is so tall and this is ridiculous.

"I don't have the key."

"You live here, but you don't have a key?" she asks before putting two and two together to get a rather disturbing four. "Wait, Kylo...are you a prisoner?"

His face shutters and he snaps, "Look are you coming up here or not?"

Fine. Right. Eyes on the prize. 

She traces her path and plans her ascent.It's not going to be easy, especially running on as little energy as she is now, but she thinks she can make it.Of course, the whole thing would be a lot easier if she still had her rope, but that had been taken off her along with the stabilizer she'd worked a full afternoon to scavenge.  
  
(If she ever sees Faren Vae again, there's a real possibility that she might kill him.) 

Rey takes a deep breath and begins to climb.It's difficult and she slips a few times, but slowly, very slowly, she gets closer and closer. She's nearly there when she makes the mistake of looking up.Kylo's looking down at her in open fascination and his eyes - wide and brown and so _soft_ and-

Her hand reaches out without looking to one of the thin vents, but her fingers don't get a firm grip.Instead, the flap snaps shut and she's left with nothing but smooth, glossy metal. She shrieks in shock and some pain as she swings back onto her one arm.

"Rey!" Kylo shouts above her.He reaches out, but his arms, as long as they are, are still too far away to reach her. 

She manages to grasp onto her previous handhold so she's no longer holding her entire body weight with about four fingers, but she cannot see any other options for how to proceed. It's not fair; she's so close!Should she jump? Should she-

"I…I think I have an idea," Kylo says.  
  
Is he going to get a rope? Has he had a rope this whole time? A sheet maybe? _Hurry, hurry, please!_

But he doesn't leave the window, doesn't go to grab anything.Instead, he throws his hair entirely over one shoulder and out the window. However long she had thought it before, it was nothing compared to reality.More and more descends towards her until the curling ends of his shiny locks brush against her knuckles. 

"Grab on," he says, like it's normal. Like this isn't the most ridiculous thing anyone has ever suggested.

"Are you insane? I'll rip it out of your head and fall to the ground!"

"No, you won't - come on! Just twist it together and climb the rest of the way up."  
  
Rey hesitates because of course she does - he doesn't actually expect her to do this, does he?  
  
He does, as it turns out. "Trust me."

She takes a breath, then another, preparing herself to fall screaming to her death. And then, latches on - first one hand, then the other. Above her, Kylo has gripped his own hair, relieving some of the tension from his scalp, although she's still not sure how this whole thing is working.

She doesn't have time to question it, though.One hand over the other, feet pushing off against the wall and then - _there!_ \- two hands grasp her by the elbows and pull her into the room. Kylo topples backwards and Rey falls flush against his chest.His eyes have gone wide, his pale cheeks are now tinged with pink, and he's barely breathing beneath her.

She should get up.She should, shouldn't she?

"Thank you," she says instead, still not moving. 

He huffs out a laugh and seems to unfreeze from whatever state he had been in before. "See? I told you you could trust me."

He starts to sit up and she scrambles off before she ends up in his lap.His eyes keep darting to hers and then away as he stands and brushes himself off. He's wearing some sort of, well, not quite a robe, but certainly far longer and thicker than it needs to be.There's odd padding up the arms and a golden pattern stitched along the edges.She wonders how much it cost to make. 

"So, soup." 

Right. The entire reason she's here.She hadn't let herself think of it before but, now that she's here, she can smell it and-

"Um, here, let me heat it up again," he says, turning and puttering with the absolutely amazing smelling food that she just wants to put in her mouth.Come _on._

"Oh, shit, I should put this in a different bowl, shouldn't I? One second." 

More puttering.Her stomach positively growls in protest.

"I'm sorry," he says, shyly as the food heats behind him - an odd look for a man of his size. "I don't really know what to do with guests. You're the first person who's ever come to visit me."

"You're doing fine," Rey assures him while watching the bowl rotate slowly. It's not like she's an expert either. Then the second half of his statement catches up with her. "Wait, never?"

"I shouldn't have visitors, technically," he says, managing to look simultaneously ashamed and delighted.

She's about to probe further when the timer beeps behind him and all thought beyond food flees her mind.

~

Rey eats like an animal.She slurps and moans and shovels the food into her mouth while huddling protectively around it.Kylo finds the whole thing...fascinating.

If he's honest with himself, he finds everything about this woman fascinating.

When he'd felt her speeder make impact with his tower, his first thought had been _This is it. They're finally coming from me.They're going to take me or kill me or-_

But then nothing had happened.In the lack of attack or invasion, he'd let his curiosity get the better of him and dropped the barrier at his window to better see outside. He shouldn't have been able to - hadn't been able to for the longest time; the window barrier, like everything else in the tower, like the tower itself, was made to keep him safe from the dangers of the universe.

(And, in turn, to keep the universe safe from him.)

But he'd found a loose paneling a few years ago and, beneath that, a loose wire. He had played with it absentmindedly in a fit of slightly petulant boredom only to discover that if you pinch it _just so_ the barrier will drop, leaving absolutely nothing between him and the outside world.Kylo should have told Snoke when it had first happened, should have put it in for repair, but he couldn't quite bear the thought of giving up the taste of fresh air. It was such a small thing and it's not like he would ever do anything reckless.

(Sometimes, more frequently than he admits even to himself, he thinks about jumping.)

He eyes the small woman before him and is almost certain this counts as reckless. 

He hadn't quite been able to help himself, though.Kylo had looked outside, expecting an invading force, some sort of threat. But instead he'd seen this tiny wisp of a girl.He's seen them before - girls, that is - but only in holos.Historical figures flickering proudly next to a list of their accomplishments, fictional warriors and princesses going on countless adventures. He should have just stayed inside and waited for her to leave, but the possibility of actually speaking with her had been too tempting pass up. 

And then of course he _had_ and she'd been so…well, so _much._ Tired and hungry and somewhat listless and yet so full of life.And the way she _spoke_ to him.Not just her voice, mind you, but the way she'd spoken back and smiled and teased and-

She's very different from Snoke.

And now that she's _here,_ now that she's in the same room as him, close to him -

 _(her small wiry frame pressed along his torso, her breath against his face, someone touching him, actually touching him, not just his hair, not just Snoke, not just-)_  

-he just can't get enough of her. There's no script here, no set of usual interactions to fall back on, and he finds that both thrilling and terrifying. He knows he must be awkward, feels like he's saying the wrong thing with every sentence, but she doesn't seem to mind. Granted, her entire focus seems to be on her food right now and only passingly on the questions he's been bombarding her with.

Kylo had known the outside world was horrible - The Supreme Leader has never minced words on that front - but the hunger and struggle and violence Rey tells him about with horrifying nonchalance is beyond even what Kylo had imagined.

He wants to tell her to stay, to be safe with him, to let him take care of her, but he knows he can't.He's broken too many rules already.He gives her a few packets and feels a warm rush of delight followed by sharp anger at the way her eyes go wide at the meager offering. 

Rey whispers a soft "Thank you," before turning to leave and, despite everything, Kylo has never felt more powerful or powerless in his whole life. 

That night, he tries not to think about the weight of her small body or the dizzying frisson he'd felt when her finger tips had brushed against his own as he'd passed her the small bowl of soup.

He's incredibly unsuccessful.

~ 

The food Kylo gave Rey gets her through the next few weeks. Despite the temptation, she's still quite good at rationing it out. She's also able to clear out a small section to the Northeast to scavenge, so she's in good standing for a while. It makes it easier to stay away. And yet, though she's no longer desperate, she cannot keep her thoughts from him, from that odd young man in the tower. Rey cannot remember the last time she had spoken to anyone for that long, the last time she had had a conversation that lasted much longer than a transaction, if she's being honest.

And he'd just… _given_ her food. For free. Without expecting anything in return.She had doubted it at first, when he'd insisted that she climb up to him, but he'd had every opportunity to…do what men did in these situations, but, as far as she could tell, it had never even occurred to him. 

(The thought has occurred to _her_ more than once in the days and nights since then.)

Rey wants to go back. Just…just to _talk_ , even. But she can't, shouldn't. She wasn't able to think too much about it in the moment, but, now that it's passed, she cannot believe she had accepted so much all at once.Beyond the shame of her helplessness, of the enormity of his charity, she worries about what had happened to Kylo in the following days. She knows his food is brought to him, but how frequently? How long had he himself gone hungry afterwards?

The thought is not a pleasant one. No, she won't force her presence on him again.

~

Rey doesn't ending up having much choice in the matter.

She's stripped off her top in an attempt to rub some of the grime off it and give it time to air out when she hears a sharp intake of breath and a nervous, "Rey?"

She whips around at the intrusion to see Kylo standing before her, shellshocked and wide-eyed at her nudity before he catches himself and firmly stares at her eyes.When her brain catches up to what she's seeing, she scrambles for a piece of cloth and wraps it quickly and somewhat haphazardly around her chest.  
  
"Kylo! What are you- Why are you here? Do you need food? I-"She doesn't know if she's rationed out quite enough to share with him, but she'll make do; she will not be in his debt. 

"I…I don't think I _am_ here. Can you see my surroundings? I can't see yours…just you."

The way he says that last bit tugs at her in a way she's scared to examine.

She shakes her head, confused, frightened, and yet, underneath it all, relieved to see him in all his beautiful awkwardness.He's no longer in the long, black not-quite-robe she'd first seen him in.Instead, he's wearing a plain, white shift that falls barely past his knees.That, and the way his hair cascades down his back and shoulders, all the way down to his ankles reminds Rey of stories the deep space pilots would tell about the Angels of Iego.

When she finds her voice again, she asks, "What's happening, then?Why can we see each other?"

He looks down, picking at his hands, ashamed. "I think…I think the Force is connecting us. I'm sorry."

"The Force?" It's going to Rey a while to process that.She's heard stories, but- "And why are you sorry?"  
  
"Because it's my fault.I'm- I'm dangerous, Rey. I have this power…inside me…and I can't always control it. It's why I have to stay locked away.But I must have…" He takes in a deep breath and clenches his jaw. Swallows. And then, softer, "I've been thinking of you, wanting to speak with you again. I must have…willed this into happening.I'm sorry; I know you don't want to see me."

She steps forward, momentarily heedless of her own state of undress in her need to comfort him. "That's not true."  
  
"But you never came back." It's not an accusation, but it stings as one all the same.

"It's not because I didn't want to," she admits and it's easier than she thought it would be. "I didn't want you to feel like you had to feed me. I'm not a burden, I can-"

"It's not a problem.The Supreme Leader would never let me go hungry; I was not in any danger." 

She's still not sure.

"I liked it," he says, taking a step towards her, his long tresses brushing against calves. "I liked helping you." 

"But," she protests, still unsure. "but I took your food!"  
  
"No," he says, taking another step forward. "I gave it to you. It's alright, Rey, I promise."

"Alright," she echoes.

His face lights up. "Then you'll come?"

"Yes," and then, firmer, because it's _important_ , "I promise."  
~

Rey comes to him many times over the next few weeks. She's found some rope since the first time she climbed into his window, for which Kylo is deeply thankful.He hadn't really _minded_ letting her use his hair to climb up, but the little nudge of support through the Force he had given her is already beyond what he's permitted. He blames this initial lapse in discipline for his later loss of control.He still cannot believe that he'd connected with her, that she'd just shown up before him out of nowhere, _topless_ and- 

He finds it hard to feel as badly about this as he probably should.It's likely why he finds himself face-to-face with her at the end of the day more often than not, even when she doesn't have the time to come visit him in person.She sits next to him bathed in light from a fire he cannot see, fixing parts that fade in and out of his view as she picks them up and puts them down. 

He should put an end to this.She comes to visit him more often than not; is that not transgression enough? But he is not strong willed enough to keep her out, and so their visits continue. And she seems happy.Kylo cannot help but let himself feel happy, too.

He should have known it was too good to last.

~

Rey's in the middle of telling a rather animated story about a smuggler who'd stolen from a violent group of criminals called the Crimson Dawn when Kylo hears the rumbling whirr of an approaching transport ship.A familiar presence that has always lingered in the back of his mind roars to life and Kylo drops his glass with shock and dread. 

"Kylo?" She hears it as well, she must, but she doesn't know, of course she doesn't know, how could she?

"Rey, you have to get out of here."Her instincts are good and she reacts without question, gathering her belongings and getting ready to hurl herself out the window.

"Wait!" Kylo cries, grabbing her arm and jerking her back.  
  
"Ow! What-"  
  
He's too close. And there's nowhere for her to hide, not for hours - the Empty Sea, Rey had called it, and it was, truly.

"It's too late; you have to hide." He pulls up the sheets spread across his bed and gestures to the place beneath it. "Here."  
  
"Kylo, I don't understand.What's going on?" She asks even as she moves to cram herself into the small space.

"I'll explain later; I promise.I just-" His voice cracks. "Rey, just promise me you'll stay there. That you'll stay quiet."  
  
"I promise.But-" 

"Just know that, whatever you see, know that I chose this, alright?"

He drops the covering before she can respond and goes to clear out all evidence that there was any other presence in his room.

He manages to sit in a chair with a book in his hand a good thirty seconds before Snoke enters the room.

~ 

Rey barely lets herself breathe as she hears the door unlock and feels footsteps enter the far corner of the room.She squints through the small gap between fabric and floor, but all she can see are large feet in a set of frankly impractical golden slippers. They're ridiculous and Rey wants to laugh the whole thing off, but Kylo's fear had been so _real_ and so pressing and now it's like the whole room is filled with this suffocating presence and Rey can't breath can't think can't-

"Come here my child; it has been too long." The voice is syrupy sweet and claws against steel all at the same time. 

"Yes, master," Kylo answers, soft and demurring. "Though, I had expected you next week." 

"Are you unhappy to see me?" The voice barely changes and yet Rey can feel the unspoken threat echoing in her jaw. "I had thought to bring you a present, but if you don't want me here, I can-"

"No, of course not, master; you know I always treasure your presence." 

"And my presents," the voice - Rey refuses to label it Kylo's master - quips, chuckling at his own joke.

Kylo, wisely, does not respond.

"Now, my schedule will not permit me to tarry long, so let's take care of you first, shall we?"

"Yes, of course. Thank you, master." Kylo's voice is trembling and Rey doesn't know what to do; she'd promised, but he's so scared, what is he-

She uses the tip of her finger to lift the sheet enough for her to peer out and see more of the horrific scene unfolding before her.

Kylo has fallen to his knees before this…creature - the Supreme Leader, _Snoke_ , she suspects, whatever that means. Kylo's long, beautiful hair falls around him like a cloak, like a veil.Snoke reaches out with a large, wrinkled, clawed hand before wrapping a long lock of Kylo's hair - once, twice, thrice - around his fingers.

Rey wants to gag.

(Rey wants to scream.)

Kylo's clenching his jaw so hard Rey wonders if his teeth will crack and there's a single tear streaming down his cheek out of the corner of his eye.A dirty talon reaches out and brushes it away in a gruesome facsimile of affection.

"Hush, now, my boy.This is for you own good.Be brave now and it will all be over soon."

Kylo nods silently before closing his eyes.

What unfolds next might be the most horrific thing Rey has ever seen in her short life of nearly constant horrific things.Snoke's grip on Kylo's hair tightens abruptly and Kylo lets out a pained, agonizing, heartbreaking wail.Lightening…energy… _something_ seems to seeping from Kylo - from his hair, from his mouth, from his skin - and wrapping itself up the wizened arms of the Supreme Leader.Both of their eyes are rolling - one with ecstasy, the other with agony - and Kylo is fighting to keep himself in place.He beats his chest once, twice - why? She doesn't understand.

  _You promised you wouldn't move. You promised. You can't break a promise you can't Rey you promised!_  

She stuffs a fist in her mouth and bites down to stop herself from screaming.Hot, angry, terrified tears stream down her face.She doesn't look away.

(She won't let herself look away.)

When it's finally over, Kylo falls forward in a trembling heap.Snoke looks down on the huddle mess of a man with a pitiless smirk.His skin is smoother, his back straighter.A sickening possibility looms before Rey and she wants to banish it, but she knows, she _knows_ it's true.

"There now - isn't that better?" 

"Yes, master.Thank you." 

"Now, I know you had wanted that tome on the Queens of Naboo, but I wasn't able to track it down in time so I brought you some more calligraphy brushes." He places the package absently on a side table, prattling along as if anyone gave a shit.Like he hadn't just been _torturing-_

Kylo says nothing.

Snoke's expression turns cold in an instant. "Pouting, I see. You are not the only concern I have in this universe, little Lord Ren. I don't have to bring you presents at all, you know. In fact, perhaps I should have just left you to die like your parents wanted?"

"I'm sorry master; thank you. I'll use them often." Kylo pleads, forcing himself up despite the obvious pain he's in.

The Supreme Leader seems to be on a roll, though, and continues on, "I put forth all this effort to keep you safe, to stop anyone from hurting you, to keep you from hurting anyone else.Is it so much to ask for a little bit of gratitude?"

"Of course not, master.The suddenness of your arrival merely startled me. I didn't mean-"  
  
"Well, I'll just get out of your hair then, shall I?"

"No, master, please!" Kylo scrambles forward as Snoke continues to back away just out of his reach.

"No, it's alright, I can tell when I'm not wanted," he says, making a show of gathering his things and getting ready to leave. Before he gets to the door, though, he turns, reaches down, cradles Kylo's cheek with one hand.

"I'm not angry, my boy.I know how hard this is for you.I'm am so proud of you, letting me do what must be done."

He backs away and as he's stepping through the door he says, without turning to look at Kylo, "Paint me something pretty while I'm gone, won't you?"  
  
He shuts the door behind himself without waiting for a response.

Rey waits for the engines to thrum back to life and fade away before crawling frantically out from under the bed. 

"Kylo!Kylo, are you alright?"

He's still sitting up, mostly, but he's tucked his knees under his chin and is taking in gasping, shuddering breaths and he hasn't even looked at her. Can he hear her?  
  
"Kylo?" She crouches down next to him, reaches out, but her fingers have barely made contact with his face before he's flinching wildly, violently away from her.

"I'm sorry," she whispers and her voice is still rough from tears and the screams she didn't let escape. "You're hurt.What did he do? What-" 

She sees his body tensing up, sees his gaze shift from hers into a frantic, blank middle distance. 

"What can I do to help?" There would be time for those other questions later.

"Stay?"

She shouldn't.Her AT-AT is prime real estate for scavengers looking for a quick kip and reclaiming it is always a hassle. 

"Of course," she whispers, extending her hand.

She waits for him to reach back, to touch her on his own, before pulling him to his feet. She basically has to throw her entire body weight backwards, but they somehow manage. He stumbles shakily into bed and he's so pale, paler than he was before and though less than an hour has passed, there are deep bags beneath his eyes.It's nowhere near sunset, but she ushers him beneath the sheets and is about to tuck him in like a child when one large, trembling hand closes loosely around her wrist.

"Please."  
  
He doesn't elaborate, but she knows what's he's asking.She slides into the, frankly, too small bed beside him.She lies flat on her back with her arm barely touching his before making an executive decision.In a movement just slow enough to let him stop her, she wraps her arm around his chest, hooks a leg around his thigh, nuzzles her nose into his neck.She rubs her thumb back and forth across his sternum in a way she hopes is soothing, humming what she's fairly certain is a drinking song, but it's pretty enough.She feels him relax breath by breath beneath her.

She's going to get answers in the morning, but, for now, they sleep.

~ 

Kylo wakes to Rey's face mere inches before his own.He had slept into the afternoon and through night into mid morning and in their sleep they must of shifted, turning in to face each other like two matched parens.Judging by the clear, steady focus in her eyes, Rey must have been up for a while.He would worry that he'd done something embarrassing in his sleep, but it's not like he has any shame or dignity left, not after yesterday.It's not like she hasn't already seen the worst of what he is. 

She reaches up and brushes a lock of hair out of his face before cupping his cheek. The echo of Snoke's touch burns him and she retracts her hands at once, as if she too had felt its pain.He is grateful even as he mourns the loss.

"I'm going to get you some water, alright?"  
  
He nods, mutely.

When she returns, he makes a great effort to drink as slowly as he can, though his mouth feels as dry as the desert outside.This is a conversation he does not want to have, but is powerless to avoid.Well, no, not powerless.But he cannot keep the truth from her, not after what she's seen.

"So. That was the Supreme Leader - Snoke, right?"

He nods. Maybe, if he's lucky, he can get through this whole thing without acting having to speak.

"What he did to you, the way he hurt you…why?"

Why what? _Why did he do it? Why did you let him? Why wouldn't you let me help?_ She doesn't clarify.

"I'm a monster, Rey."

Instead of backing up, instead of leaving, she sits down next to him on the bed. "I saw two people in this room and you weren't who I would have chosen as the 'monster.'"

"I am, though," he says. She deserves to know, though it's going to break his heart to tell her. "How much do you know of the war against the Empire?"  
  
She frowns slightly at the seeming non-sequitur. "Enough? I've been in many of their ships, Kylo.I've seen the logs.I've heard the stories.But what does that have to do with-"

"My grandfather is Darth Vader."

Her brows rise and her mouth opens in mild shock, but other than that Rey doesn't react. She's not leaving.Why isn't she leaving?

He continues. "That dark power he had, the way he hurt people…Rey, it's inside me, too.I'm dangerous.I'm something _wrong_. My parents knew this; that's why they gave me up."

~

"My parents knew this; that's why they gave me up."

_(a child's voice, screaming - "Come back!")_

Rey cannot process what she's hearing, can barely breathe.She reaches out and grasps one of his hands that had been fidgeting with a wrinkle in the sheets next to him.He seems shocked at the contact, but slowly turns to hold her hand in return.

"You're not," she says, squeezing his hand.

"Rey, you don't understand."  
  
"No, maybe you don't understand! It wasn't Vader's power that hurt people; it was how he used it. He _chose_ to - it didn't just _happen._ "

"And I'm _choosing_ to make sure that I can't."  
  
"By letting Snoke suck the life out of you?" 

He pulls his hand from her grasp. She lets him, though they're far from done with this conversation. He's no longer looking at her, speaking to a place on the wall somewhere to her right.

"He didn't have to save me, you know.He could have left me to die like my parents wanted.He could have given me to all the people who want to kill me or use me, but he didn't.He gave me this tower; he makes me _safe_." 

Kylo is the one saying them, but Rey knows that these are Snoke's words.

"And what about Snoke's power?"

He says nothing, but his gaze snaps back to hers.

"It's not going nowhere; he doesn't just spout it into the atmosphere. There's not some….Force trash compactor he throws it in.All that power?It's going into him.What's going to stop _him_ from hurting people?" 

"The Supreme Leader is wise," Kylo says it forcefully, but Rey can feel the hint of doubt - grasps at it, tugs.

"His title is 'The Supreme Leader' - how wise can he be?" Kylo scowls, but says nothing. "He's using you." 

"You don't understand; I have to trust him Rey."He's digging in his heels on this but every inch of him is frightened. Good.She's going to put an end to this.She's going to save him. 

"You don't, Kylo.You're smarter than this."  
  
He clenches his jaw and his face goes cold, goes cruel. "Like you, do you mean?"

She frowns, not sure where this is going. "I didn't say that."

"Why are you still here, Rey?"  
  
"Because you asked me to."  
  
"No, I mean _why are you still here on Jakku?"_

A chill is settling behind her ribcage."I need to wait for my family to come back."

"I know that's not, true, Rey, and you know it, too." 

She stands up, backs away from him.

"I've seen what really happened.You think because you live out there that you know better than me? Like you haven't been wasting your life on parents who never gave a damn about you."

"Stop it."  
  
"They threw you away like garbage."

"They didn't!"

"They did." He stands, and though he's still weak and a little shaky from the day before, she cannot help but note the way he looms above her. "So don't you try to tell me how to live with myself and what I have to do. Not when you can't accept that your parents were filthy junk traders who sold you for drinking money."

She wants to hit him, wants to yell, wants to throw something at him.She does none of these things.Instead, she gathers everything she has with great, ugly tears streaming down her face before rappelling out the window.

As she frantically makes her way down the side of the tower, she thinks she can hear him say, "I told you I was a monster."

~

Kylo barely eats or sleeps over the next few days. He knew that her finding out the truth would ruin everything, he just hadn't been ready for it to be ruined in such a spectacular fashion.When the fear and anger at her words had subsided, he's left with cloying, poisonous regret.He hadn't lied to her - though he'd tried to give her her privacy, the Force revealed the truth to him fairly early on in their relationship - but there had been no reason to hurt her as he had. 

The seed of doubt Rey had planted is also beginning to grow roots. 

_The Supreme Leader is wise. The Supreme Leader is kind.He looks after you when no one else will. It's necessary.The pain is necessary.He gives you food and shelter and presents - is that not enough? Considering all that you are, is that not enough?_

For the first time in his life, the answer might be 'no.'

He wants to apologize, to erase the past and start again with her.But he cannot feel her.That connection that had once come so easily to him that it happened without conscious thought is now…blocked, gone.At first he thinks it's just a side effect of his powers being drained, but days pass and that thrumming connection begins to return in all other aspects but this one.

Anxiety turns into fear, which turns into panic and all his thoughts begin to circle around one horrible possibility: What if something has happened to Rey? 

Kylo waits until he can bear it no longer. He makes a small satchel out of a tablecloth, ties it to his back and stands before the window, waiting, terrified. Then - one foot, the other.He's larger than Rey, but he still fits, if barely.He takes a deep breath and lets himself feel more of the Force than he ever has before. And then-

_Jump._

He slows his descent and falls to the ground in what is still a startling, if somewhat cushioned, _fwump._

Jakku is hot.He'd known it, intellectually, but it's another thing to truly _feel_ it.His skin, which has never truly experienced direct sunlight is already screaming in protest at the onslaught.He looks up into the gaping, never-ending sky and is struck with an odd sense of vertigo. There's just so _much_ of it, so open, so-

No, he's getting sidetracked.He needs to find Rey. 

He's pieced together the route she takes to get from her small home to his from the stories she's told him, but it's very different to be actually looking for physical objects rather than have a list of words in his head.  Jakku is just so _big._ There's too much and not enough all at once.His eyes strain against the brightness and the vast, expansive distance for which he has no sense of depth. He flounders wildly without the landmarks of his room too orient him.Bed, chair, table - they're all back in a tower that is fading further and further into the distance and he's left adrift in the Empty Sea.

The sun is beginning to sweat and he's sweating buckets beneath his hair and clothes and he's already gone through most of the water he's brought with him.

 _Rey!Rey, where are you?_  

He's exhausted and frantic and it must be why he doesn't notice the presence behind him.

"What have we here? A lost little fathier run away from his pen?" 

He turns too quickly and loses his balance, falls backwards, barely catches himself with his hands. Looming over him in brilliant, sparkling gold is Snoke.On either side he is flanked by identical figures in white. _Stormtroopers_ , his mind supplies.

Like the ones that worked for the Empire.

"I should have known something was wrong.When I got the alert that you left your tower, well, I must say I was terrified.Yes, terrified, heartbroken, and," he pauses, steps closer,"so _deeply_ disappointed."

He reaches out with one of his long, gnarled hands.Hands that had brought Kylo so much pain, but knew how to be kind. Hands that, for so many years, were the only touch he'd ever known.Before Rey, he would have taken it.

(Before Rey, he would not have been here to begin with.)

Snoke's face twists into a snarl and, without any warning, he backhands Kylo with such force that he cuts his lip and falls flat against the ground.

"Get away from him!" 

His heart soars and plummets. _She's alive!But she's_ here. _She's not safe; Snoke will see her as a threat.It's not safe it's not safe it's not-_

Eight blasters and, more importantly, the Snoke's attention are all pointed firmly on Rey. She stands her ground, fierce and glorious and _fuck Rey please just leave it!I'm not worth it._

"So, it's _you._ You're the fly in the ointment.Time for you to get squashed."

Eight blaster shots fire and-

Freeze in mid-air, right before Rey's face.For about two seconds nobody moves.Rey and Snoke stare in equal amounts of shock and stormtroopers…well, they are all immobilized themselves, frozen just as much has their blaster shots are. Kylo's own outstretched arm trembles slightly at the effort of holding them in place.

Rey, out of all of them, is the first to move.She rolls beneath the path of the bolt and hits the nearest stormtrooper behind the knees with her staff. Seeing that she's safe, Kylo lets the bolts go and they fly off into the empty desert.

"Get him, forget the girl!" Snoke snarls and two stormtroopers make their way towards him.

But the never reach him.Instead, they are picked up and sent flying off to Kylo's left. 

That wasn't him.

The Force is humming, singing, shouting around him, but _that wasn't him._

Snoke laughs and says, "Well, maybe this bug has some sting to her after all."

Kylo's so shocked and exhausted he barely resists the four stormtroopers that have come to take their comrade's places, tackling him firmly to the ground, pinning each limb in place.

Out of the corner of his eye he can see Snoke reach out, lift Rey bodily from the ground and pull her to hover in front of him.

_Come on, come on, come on!_

He struggles to grasp at the power he's spent most of his life avoiding and denying, but it's useless.He's so tired and he can't focus and it's just beyond his grasp. 

 _Rey!_ Rey is strong and brave and knows how to fight. Maybe it's not too late.

_Reach out, Rey! Open yourself to the Force, please!_

But she knows how to use the Force even less than he does.Her attempts are wild and unfocused, a caged animal bashing its head against the glass.

"Maybe I should keep you, too." He turns to Kylo. "Would you like that, my pet? I would keep her safe and well fed. She wouldn't have to work or be hurt. Neither of you would ever be alone again."

It's everything Kylo thought he wanted. Now that it's being offered to him, the thought makes him sick.

"Let her go, please." Kylo begs. "I'll come back with you; I won't fight it. I'll never leave again."  
  
Snoke smiles and Kylo can finally see that it's devoid of the warmth he thought he'd been shown. "I think not."

He turns his attention back to Rey, takes her hair down from the three loose buns that she always wears and wraps the strands around his hand.He tightens his grip and Rey begins to scream.

He's never seen it from this angle.

Kylo feels nothing.Years upon years of raw, flayed agony and he cannot feel any of them. The burning in his underused muscles, distant, separate.Fear and heartbreak and doubt and self-loathing - gone. Rey's screams fade to nothing and all he hears is his own breathing and the pounding of his own pulse in his ears.

One.

Two.

Three. 

And then it all comes crashing back.There's so _much_ and Kylo can feel all of it, flowing and rushing beneath his skin, in his head, behind his teeth.He lets out a snarling shout and all four stormtroopers fly from him in a wild burst of energy.He hears a sickening snap, but doesn't turn to see what happened. No, he stands up and walks purposefully towards Snoke, who is lost in ecstasy and doesn't notice as Kylo approaches. The remaining four stormtroopers do, but he brushes them aside with an absent wave of his hand.

All that's left is _him_.

He's not sure what makes him do it nor where the idea came from. In a way, it's as if another is possessing him, as if he's just watching it all from a distance. Kylo takes his hair - the hair that Snoke would never let him cut - and wraps it around his neck.Once, twice and _tugs._

Rey's scream cuts off abruptly as she falls to the ground with a gasp.Snoke is flailing, choking, clawing beneath him.Kylo can feel the tendrils of power reach out towards him, but instead of letting the power seep from within him, he takes those same tendrils and he _pulls._ He pulls and pulls and now it's Snoke who is screaming and he can feel some of himself returning, being drawn out from within Snoke's very essence. He pulls his hair tighter and digs deeper and Snoke falls to his knees.

_It's my life!You should never have taken it from me!Give it back give it back give it back._

Kylo pulls and digs until there's nothing left.

"Kylo."  
  
_Give it back give it back give it-_

"Kylo!"

His head snaps up to look at Rey who's kneeling before him."He's gone, Kylo; we need to go."

_What?_

"Kylo!"

He looks down.The figure beneath him is…little more than a skeleton.He extracts himself and moves backwards in quick, jerky steps. Even that movement has the dried-out husk crumbling underneath the glittering, golden robe.He steps forward and stomps on it, feeling a sickening delight at the crunch it makes beneath his foot. 

"Kylo!More soldiers are coming! TIE fighters, too.We have to run."

Yes. Run.He turns and she takes his hand and then they're off.

Neither of them can go particularly fast.Kylo has probably expended more physical energy today than he has in his entire life.And Rey….Rey had been…Snoke had….

_Run._

He looks behind him.He and Rey are slow, their stumbling movements barely feeling like any progress, but the stormtroopers are still slower.Must be the armor. They can't stop, though, have to keep moving.

Rey leads them through what feel like a graveyard of ships.Guards decked out with makeshift weapons and clothed in rags shout as them as they run past.Rey tries to get to one, but there are a least two dozen troopers that move out from behind it.

No, not that way.

They finally get to a strange, disc-like one at they very edge of the lot.

"It's garbage, but we'll have to make do!"

She shuffles him in and launches herself into the pilot's seat and then…..

They're gone. 

Off of Jakku for the first time either of them can remember.

~

When Rey's finally sure that she's shaken the last of them and found a nice, quiet corner of space to hide in, she turns on the autopilot and goes looking for Kylo.

She finds him sitting on a small bench, his knees curled up to his chest, staring at the wall in front of him.

"Kylo?"  

She's not sure if he hears her.

"Ky-"

"Ben. My name was Ben." 

He reaches out and touches the three letters carved into the ship's wall, childish and lopsided.

"They didn't hate me."His voice cracks and Rey's heart breaks.

"Rey, please, I-" he swallows, clears his throat. "I want to go home."

She sits down next to him and places her lips against his forehead, pulls him close to her, rubs soothing lines up and down his back. He holds onto her like a lifeline.

"Okay.Then we'll go home." 

She thinks of an old helmet and tiny doll and thousands upon thousands of tally marks along the wall of a fallen AT-AT. She lets it go. 

"I'll take you home, Ben."

 

 

 


End file.
